Ten Quotes on Christmas

How do you feel today? Here are ten quotes on Christmas which just about capture the possible range of emotions that this holiday season could evoke in each of us. See if any of these quotes capture your mood or thought on this most awaited day in Christendom. Hope yours is not like that of Bart Simpson (at the end of this post). Once again, Merry Christmas, folks!

The "first Christmas" was a simple time of beauty and wonder. The birth of Christ was less about celebration than it was about family. Though many today may grow tired of the commercialization of Christmas, in reality it has opened the door for Christ to once again become the focal point of the season, and for family, especially children, to be at the heart of the celebration. -Ace Collins

* * *

Merry Christmas! ... What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, and not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books and having every item in 'em through a round dozen of months presented against you? If I would work my will ... every idiot who goes about with "Merry Christmas," on his lips, should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. -Charles Dickens

* * *

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things -- not the great occasions -- give off the greatest glow of happiness. -Bob Hope

* * *

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. -Joan Rivers

* * *

Christmas is a season of such infinite labour, as well as expense in the shopping and present-making line, that almost every woman I know is good for nothing in purse and person for a month afterwards, done up physically, and broken down financially. -Fanny Kemble

* * *

Christmas is not a time or a season but a state of mind. To cherish peace and good will, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. If we think on these things, there will be born in us a Savior and over us will shine a star sending its gleam of hope to the world. -Calvin Coolidge

* * *

For many people, Christmas is about the grand gesture -- spending days and nights in frenzied cooking and decorating, enduring crowds to buy piles of gifts, and attending to a calendar chock-full of obligations. The funny thing is, at the end of all the huzzah and hurrah, many of us are exhausted rather than exhilarated. -Donata Maggipinto

* * *

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. -Erma Bombeck

* * *

Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it 'white'. -Bing Crosby

* * *

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know… the birth of Santa. -Bart Simpson

(Thanks to www.sxc.hu for the royalty-free photo shown above).

A Very Merry Christmas to All!

I have not forgotten this blog. It's just that I have been terribly busy with a project lately. But then, no matter busy I am, I'd like to take this opportunity to greet one and all a very Merry Christmas!

Ten Quotes on Justice

I had the urge yesterday to comment (in my, yes, dog blog) on two celebrated local cases where, in my view, the executive branch of government might gain political mileage, but at the expense of an already weakened justice system, a co-equal branch in the democratic triad. If my analysis is correct, where is the wisdom in all that?

As is my wont when I needed to take a position on issues, I first consult the wisdom of the ages, which can be found in famous quotes, to test if my layman's thoughts resonate with those of others who have gone before. See what I came up with:

"Justice is the means by which established injustices are sanctioned." -ANATOLE FRANCE

* * *

"Injustice alone can shake down the pillars of the skies, and restore the reign of Chaos and Night." -HORACE MANN

* * *

"The most reasonable man always manages, when he pulls the trigger, to become a dispenser of justice." -JEAN GENET

* * *

"Justice will only exist where those not affected by injustice are filled with the same amount of indignation as those offended." -PLATO

* * *

"When evil men plot, good men must plan. When evil men burn and bomb, good men must build and bind. When evil men shout ugly words of hatred, good men must commit themselves to the glories of love. Where evil men would seek to perpetuate an unjust status quo, good men must seek to bring into being a real order of justice." -MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

* * *

"It is not the business of the law to make anyone good or reverent or moral or clean or upright." -MURRAY ROTHBARD

* * *

"One who breaks an unjust law must do so openly, lovingly, and with a willingness to accept the penalty." -MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

* * *

"Legal plunder has two roots: One, as we have just seen, is in human selfishness; the other is in false philanthropy." -FREDERIC BASTIAT

* * *

"What those people who ask for equality have in mind is always an increase in their own power to consume." -LUDWIG VON MISES

* * *

"Let us realize the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice." -MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

(Thanks to Stockxpert.com for the use of the royalty-free photo shown above)

Ten Quotes from John F. Kennedy

John F. Kennedy became the U.S. president when I was graduating from Grade-VI in a public school in my hometown. It was my father who planted him in my consciousness after he came back the following year from a government scholarship in the States. He regaled us with his first-hand account of the palpable tension in America during the Cuban Missile Crisis that tested Kennedy's mettle as a young president of a world superpower. That made a lasting imprint on my impressionable mind, hence my choice for these quotes:

"A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people."

* * *

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

* * *

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."

* * *

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men."

* * *

"Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."

* * *

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."

* * *

"Geography has made us neighbors. History has made us friends. Economics has made us partners, and necessity has made us allies. Those whom God has so joined together, let no man put asunder."

* * *

"History is a relentless master. It has no present, only the past rushing into the future. To try to hold fast is to be swept aside."

* * *

"I look forward to a future in which our country will match its military strength with our moral restraint, its wealth with our wisdom, its power with our purpose."

* * *

"I just received the following wire from my generous Daddy; Dear Jack, Don't buy a single vote more than is necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide."

(Many thanks to obits.eons.com for the use of the photo shown above)

Ten Quotes on Destiny

While researching for my next post in my other blog, I was looking out for a quotation that would capture the essence of what I wanted to muse about the life path of incumbent U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke.

You see, Mr. Bernanke was just a child of six or seven when the Great Depression struck in the 1930s. His experience during that period apparently left a lasting influence on the young Bernanke who once asked his maternal grandmother why many children in the neighborhood went to school either barefoot or in tattered shoes.

It's an anecdote that leads me to the inevitable word: Destiny. Let me share with you these quotes that I stumbled upon:

"There is no such thing as chance; and what seem to us merest accident springs from the deepest source of destiny." -Johann Friedrich Von Schiller

* * *

Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny." -Tyron Edwards

* * *

"Upon the conduct of each depends the fate of all." -Alexander the Great

* * *

"We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out." -Ray Bradbury

* * *

"A consistent soul believes in destiny, a capricious one in chance." -Benjamin Disraeli

* * *

"The destiny of any nation at any given time depends on the opinion of its young people, those under twenty-five." -Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

* * *

"And the high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule, or to impose himself in any other way." -Albert Einstein

* * *

"Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

* * *

"Only by joy and sorrow does a person know anything about themselves and their destiny. They learn what to do and what to avoid." -Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

* * *

"Even when you think you have your life all mapped out, things happen that shape your destiny in ways you might never have imagined." -Deepak Chopra

(The royalty-free photo shown above courtesy of www.sxc.hu)

Ten Quotes from Sun Tzu's " The Art of War"

I thought about Sun Tzu after the failed rebellion of Philippine Senator Antonio Trillanes IV, a PMAyer and former Navy officer, last Thursday, November 29, 2007. This was his second attempt to overthrow President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo (GMA). He may need to go back to the teachings of Sun Tzu in "The Art of War" if he will have a third chance, which is now a very big IF.

"We cannot enter into alliances until we are acquainted with the designs of our neighbors."

* * *

"The general who wins a battle makes many calculations in his temple ere the battle is fought. The general who loses a battle makes but few calculations beforehand. Thus do many calculations lead to victory, and few calculations to defeat: how much more no calculation at all! It is by attention to this point that I can foresee who is likely to win or lose."

* * *

"Though we have heard of stupid haste in war, cleverness has never been seen associated with long delays."

* * *

"All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him."

* * *

"He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight. He will win who knows how to handle both superior and inferior forces. He will win whose army is animated by the same spirit throughout all its ranks. He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared. He will win who has military capacity and is not interfered with by the sovereign."

* * *

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle."

* * *

"Making no mistakes is what establishes the certainty of victory, for it means conquering an enemy that is already defeated."

* * *

"In all fighting, the direct method may be used for joining battle, but indirect methods will be needed in order to secure victory. In battle, there are not more than two methods of attack - the direct and the indirect; yet these two in combination give rise to an endless series of maneuvers. The direct and the indirect lead on to each other in turn. It is like moving in a circle - you never come to an end. Who can exhaust the possibilities of their combination?"

* * *

"The clever combatant imposes his will on the enemy, but does not allow the enemy's will to be imposed on him."

* * *

"In making tactical dispositions, the highest pitch you can attain is to conceal them."

(Thanks to www.geocities.com/Athens for the use of the photo shown above)

Quotes from "The International Rules of Manhood"

I'd like to share with you excerpts from a blog wittily written by George Moneo in www.babalublog.com, entitled "The International Rules of Manhood". Here are the rules of manhood that put a smile on my face:

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.

Rule 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

Rule 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

Rule 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

Rule 10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

Rule 16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

Rule 19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

Rule 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

Rule 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

Rule 28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

(The royalty-free photo shown above courtesy of www.sxc.hu)

Ten Quotes on Success

I received a pat on the back today after a successful presentation, which brought the project I've been working on since August this year just one step shy from final approval. I hope to get it tomorrow with one more presentation.

Musing on how things seem easier now to achieve compared to how it was in my younger years, I cannot help but ruminate that my success today didn't really come easy. I selected these ten quotes on success because each one of these speak a great truth in my career life.

Did success come easy for you or are you like me? See if you can identify with these quotes:

"Actually, I'm an overnight success. But it took twenty years." -Monty Hall

* * *

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." -Sir Winston Churchill

* * *

"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom." -General George S. Patton

* * *

"Eighty percent of success is showing up." -Woody Allen

* * *

"You will find the key to success under the alarm clock." -Benjamin Franklin

* * *

"It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final." -Roger Babson

* * *

"Real success finding your lifework in the work that you love." -David McCullough

* * *

"Men are born to succeed, not fail." -Henry David Thoreau

* * *

"Success usually comes to those who are too busy looking for it." -Henry David Thoreau

* * *

"Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life." -Dr. David M. Burns

Ten Quotes on Hope

In my previous post, I shared with you the quotes I was able to collect on health to provide me with the needed perspective and wisdom on my current predicament. Today, I share with you the quotes that I collected to cheer me up and give me hope. Hope you also like these hope quotes (forgive the pun). You might need them someday. Who knows?

"He, who has health, has hope; and he who has hope has everything." -Arabian Proverb

* * *

"True hope is swift, and flies with swallow's wings;
Kings it makes gods, and meaner creatures kings." -William Shakespeare

* * *

"He who does not hope to win has already lost." -Jose Joaquin Olmedo

* * *

"Everything that is done in the world is done by hope." -Martin Luther

* * *

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come." -Anne Lamott

* * *

"“Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.” -Lyn Yutang

* * *

"Hope is a waking dream." -Aristotle

* * *

"While there's life, there's hope." -Cicero

* * *

"Hope is only the love of life." -Henri-Frederic Amiel

* * *

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches on the soul.
And sings the tune,
Without the words,
And never stops at all." -Emily Dickenson

(Thanks to www.sxc.hu for the royalty-free photo shown above)

Quotes on Health

Health was a big issue in my life in May 2006 so I had to go under the knife. Since then, I have recovered the 30 lbs. I lost as a result of that problem. However, my recent regular check-up turned up with another "red flag". I saw a radiologist yesterday at the instance of my doctor. Things are still up in the air, and I will have to wait until that radiologist and my doctor have had time to discuss my new problem before they can tell me the next steps. Although I have not mentioned any specific detail about my problem, I'm sure you get the drift that my new problem is sort of life-threatening. Well, they haven't told me either; that's just my "feel". I would know more perhaps this weekend when I see my doctor again. Meantime, why don't I share with you some nice health quotes which I collected for my own consumption:

"If you trust Google more than your doctor then maybe it's time to switch doctors." -
Jadelr and Cristina Cordova, Chasing Windmills, 08-21-06

* * *

"As I see it, every day you do one of two things: build health or produce disease in yourself." -Adelle Davis

* * *

"Every patient carries her or his own doctor inside." -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

* * *

"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory." -Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

* * *

"Health is not valued till sickness comes." -Dr. Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734), Gnomologia, 1732

* * *


"What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease." -George Dennison Prentice

* * *

"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses." -Hippocrates (460 BC - 377 BC), Regimen in Health

* * *

"Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God and value it next to conscience; for health is the second blessing that we mortals are capable of, a blessing money can't buy." -Izaak Walton (1593 - 1683)

* * *

"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." -Jackie Mason (1934 - )

* * *

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." -Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

* * *

"Pain (any pain--emotional, physical, mental) has a message. The information it has about our life can be remarkably specific, but it usually falls into one of two categories: 'We would be more alive if we did more of this," and, "Life would be more lovely if we did less of that.' Once we get the pain's message, and follow its advice, the pain goes away." -Peter McWilliams, Life 101

* * *

"The more severe the pain or illness, the more severe will be the necessary changes. These may involve breaking bad habits, or acquiring some new and better ones." -Peter McWilliams, Life 101

* * *

"One of the most sublime experiences we can ever have is to wake up feeling healthy after we have been sick." -Rabbi Harold Kushner

* * *

"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing." -Redd Foxx (1922 - 1991)

* * *

"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." -Robert Orben

Source: QuotationsPage.com

(Thanks to www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov for the use of the above photo)

Ten Witty Quotes

To prophesy is extremely difficult - especially with regard to the future.
- Chinese proverb

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
- Shakespeare

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
- Henry Kissinger

It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats.
- Russian proverb

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- George Burns

All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it.
- Samuel Butler

Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
- Bob Wells

The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking.
- Albert Einstein

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"
- Albert Einstein

A little learning is a dangerous thing, but a lot of ignorance is just as bad.
- Bob Edwards


Source: DidYouKnow.cd

Nine Laws of the Universe Discovered By Humans

* Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

* Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

* Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.


Source: Ancienthomeofdragon.homestead.com

Ten Quotes on Money

"Do not be fooled into believing that because a man is rich he is necessarily smart. There is ample proof to the contrary." -Julius Rosenwald (1862 - 1932)

* * *

"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." -J. Paul Getty (1892 - 1976)

* * *

"Make money your god and it will plague you like the devil." -Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754)

* * *

"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody." -Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

* * *

"A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart." -Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)

* * *

"Endless money forms the sinews of war." -Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC), Philippics

* * *

"One must be poor to know the luxury of giving." -George Eliot (1819 - 1880)

* * *

"Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game." -Donald Trump (1946 - ), "Trump: Art of the Deal"

* * *

If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves there wouldn't be enough to go around.
Christina Stead (1903 - 1983), House of All Nations (1938) "Credo"

* * *

"Lack of money is the root of all evil." -George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

My Favorite Investment Banker Jokes

An INVESTMENT BANKER I know was sitting in the lobby of a San Francisco hotel when she saw a familiar face nearby. She was sure he was a former client or colleague, so she started walking over to him.

Just then, Henry Kissinger, the former U.S. secretary of state, strode in and took the seat my friend was about to occupy. She was saved. She had planned to open the conversation with Helmut Schmidt, the former chancellor of West Germany, by asking: "Didn't we work together at Chase Manhattan Bank?

* * *

These two women were walking through the forest when they hear this voice from under a log. Investigating, the women discovered the voice was coming from a frog:

"Help me, ladies! I am an INVESTMENT BANKER who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"

The first woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The second woman, aghast, screamed, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into an investment banker?"

The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than an investment banker!"

* * *

An American INVESTMENT BANKER was at the pier of a small coastal Greek village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.

The American complimented the Greek on the quality of his fish and asked, "How long does it take to catch them?" The Greek replied: "Only a little while".

The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Greek said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Greek fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play cards with my friends, I have a full and busy life."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Athens, then London and eventually New York where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Greek fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?" To which the American replied, "15-25 years." "But what then?" The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions ... Then what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play cards with your friends."

* * *

A lawyer, a fervent Democrat dressed in casual clothes, sits down to have his lunch in a park across from his office. The he notices a very distinguished and dignified man sit down a few feet away on the grass; he extremely well dressed in a tailored Hickey Freeman pinstriped suit, silk tie, starched white shirt, cuff links, tiepin, Rolex, highly polished black wingtips and silk socks. He places his expensive briefcase next to him and prepares for lunch.

“One of those Republicans, I’ll bet” thought the lawyer, and after introducing himself, he found out he is right – not only a Republican, but an INVESTMENT BANKER. The lawyer glances at the banker’s shoes, glistening in the sunlight.

Lawyer: "You have those polished every day, don’t you?"

Investment Banker: "Just about. I have to look good for the clients."

Lawyer: "What about the poor? A few shoeshines would pay for a lot food."

Investment Banker: "I help them through with taxes, but we all have a personal responsibility."

Lawyer: "I'm telling you, the poor only need a chance! We should be GIVING them money; they haven't had our advantages!"

Investment Banker: "We all have to work for what we have."

Lawyer: "Look, poverty can happen to anyone! There's no way you can know that from where you sit!" Investment Banker: "Keep talking if you want to. When I sleep, nothing wakes me - and I mean NOTHING!"

The investment banker sighs, then takes off his suit jacket, places it on the grass and falls into a deep sleep.

Then a barefoot homeless man appears, and asks the lawyer for change. The lawyer apologizes, and says he has nothing, but then he sees the investment banker's wallet in his suit pocket. He slips it out, and hands it to the homeless man.

But then he notices that the homeless man needs shoes. So he has an idea - he looks over at the feet of the sleeping investment banker... "Wait!" cries the lawyer. "I'm sure you need these more than he does."

He then starts to untie the investment banker's polished wingtips and carefully pulls them off. Even more carefully, he pulls off his black dress socks and hands both shoes and socks to the astonished homeless man. "With my compliments!"

Then the lawyer sees a sad woman with a baby walking by. "Can I help you?" he asks her. When he finds out that she needs money for her rent, the lawyer again approaches the snoring – and now barefoot - investment banker and removes his cuff links, then he slips the tiepin out of the silk tie and the Rolex off his wrist. He hands them all to the delighted woman. "Sell these!" the lawyer cries. "Oh, thank you sir" says the delighted woman, and runs off happily.

Next, a man in a janitor's uniform walks by, looking dejected. "What's the matter, my friend?" says the lawyer sympathetically. "I..lost my job. I have a chance for a better one, but I don't have the clothes! This is all I have!" and he holds up a pair of old polyester pants.

The lawyer sighs, and then sees the businessman's pinstriped suit jacket. "Would this help?" he asks the man. "Sure!" cries the man. "You could use a briefcase, too!" says the lawyer and opens up the investment banker's briefcase. He removes the contents and hands it to the joyful man. Then he looks at the investment banker's silk tie and white shirt. Can he manage it?

He has to move the investment banker a few times, but he only snores and sleeps. Then he undoes the banker's belt and pulls it off. Triumphantly he hands the shirt, belt and tie to the man.

"Wait" the lawyer cries. "You really need a full suit. Give me a hand and I’ll need those polyester pants. I’m getting good at this" and with great care and trouble, set to work. Ten minutes later, the sleeping investment banker was wearing the polyester pants and the man was staring happily at his tailored suit. He thanks the lawyer profusely and runs off. "How good it is to help people!" he says to himself.

Twenty minutes later, a policeman walks up to the investment banker, and snaps: "Hey buddy, wake up, no loitering! We don't allow bums to sleep here"

Finally the investment banker wakes up with a start and looks down at himself with astonishment. There is nothing left of the impeccably dressed executive he had been when he left his office. He is barefoot, and wearing only cheap trousers and a t-shirt. It takes him a moment to realize that his suit, shoes, socks, suit, tie, watch, jewelry, money and briefcase are gone.

He turns to the lawyer in astonished fury. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! WHERE IS MY SUIT, MY TIE, MY SHIRT! WHERE ARE MY SHOES AND SOCKS!? MY BRIEFCASE! HOW CAN I GO BACK TO MY OFFICE LIKE THIS!? I LOOK LIKE A BUM!"

The policeman then turns to the lawyer and says "Is this man disturbing you, sir?" and grabs the struggling investment banker by the arm and says: "You can sleep it off in the tank, buddy!" At that moment, his boss walks by on a stroll, sees his employee being dragged away by the policeman and cries out, "You’re fired!"

The lawyer just shrugs and says: "Those republicans! They never think it will happen to them!"


Sources: Lumpyporridge.com , Becquet.com, and Froggyjokes.com.

One-liner Arabian Proverbs

I love one-liner quotes because of their punch line character. Interestingly, proverbs satisfy that criteria. Most proverbs are short sayings. But don’t sneer at that length (actually, the lack of it), for proverbs express a lot of wisdom and truth very concisely.

Being a Roman Catholic, my introduction to proverbs was , of course, through the Bible. But I was also impressed with the depth and breadth of Arabic proverbs which I am featuring here today. I stumbled upon Arabic proverbs when I was looking for a suitable quote for a post in my other blog. From then on, I got hooked on the folksy wisdom of Arabian proverbs.

To the extent that proverbs embody a people’s culture and traditions, it is reasonanble to conclude, from my admittedly limited comparison of various proverbs, that how we experience reality, what we consider as proper rules of conduct, and the values that we want to pass on to the next generation seem to be universal across various cultures and religions. Try these:

A little debt makes a debtor, a great one an enemy.

* * *

Judge a man by the reputation of his enemies.

* * *

If you stop every time a dog barks, your road will never end.

* * *

If you have much, give of your wealth; if you have little, give of your heart.

* * *

Compete, don't envy.

* * *

Diligence is the mother of good luck.

* * *

Do not cut down the tree that gives you shade.

* * *

I am a prince and you are a prince; who will lead the donkeys?

* * *

Beware of one who flatters unduly; he will also censure unjustly.

* * *

A man profits more by the sight of an idiot than by the orations of the learned.

* * *

Keep your friends close - hold your enemies closer.

* * *

Arrogance diminishes wisdom.

* * *

A fool may be known by six things: anger, without cause; speech, without profit; change, without progress; inquiry, without object; putting trust in a stranger, and mistaking foes for friends.

* * *

When you heard that a mountain was moved, believe it; but when you hear that someone changed his character do not believe it.

* * *

Do not tell a friend anything you would conceal from an enemy.

* * *

A man's capacity is the same as his breadth of vision.

* * *

When you have spoken the word, it reigns over you. When it is unspoken you reign over it.

* * *

If power is for sale, sell your mother to buy it. You can always buy her back again.

* * *

A wise man associating with the vicious becomes an idiot; a dog traveling with good men becomes a rational being.

* * *

At the narrow passage there is no brother and no friend.

Sources: www.worldofquotes.com and www.thinkexist.com.

(Royalty-free photo shown above courtesy of www.sxc.hu)

Ten Quotes on Power

"Those who have been once intoxicated with power, and have derived any kind of emolument from it, even though for one year, never can willingly abandon it. They may be distressed in the midst of all their power; but they will never look to anything but power for their relief." -Edmund Burke, Political Philosopher (1729-1797)

* * *

"Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will." -Frederick Douglas, Black Abolitionist, Editor, Renaissance Man (1818-1895)

* * *

"A friend in power is a friend lost." -Henry Brooks Adams, U.S. historian (1838-1918)

* * *

"Power only tires those who do not have it." -Giulio Andreotti, Former Italian Prime Minister (1919- )

* * *

"No Government can be long secure without a formidable Opposition." -Benjamin Disraeli, British Prime Minister (1804-1881)

* * *

"A passion for politics stems usually from an insatiable need, either for power or for friendship and adulation, or a combination of both." -Fawn M. Brodie, Biographer (1915-1981)

* * *

"If you must break the law, do it to seize power; in all other cases observe it." -Julius Caesar, Roman General, Statesman, and Writer (100-44 BC)

* * *

"Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral." -Paulo Freire, Brazilian Educator and Philosopher (1921-1997)

* * *

"Power doesn't corrupt people, people corrupt power." -William Gaddis, American Author (1922-1998)

* * *

"Whenever there is authority, there is a natural inclination to disobedience." -Thomas C. Halliburton, Canadian Jurist and Humorist (1796-1865)

Source: William B. Whitman (ed.), "The Quotable Politician"

Quotes on Democracy

These quotes were taken from the book entitled "The Quotable Politician":

"I don't know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it." -Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing (1989)

* * *

"The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution." -Hannah Arendi, Political Scientist and Philosopher (1906-1975)

* * *

"The most perfect political community is one in which the middle class is in control, and outnumbers both the other classes." -Aristotle, Greek Philosopher (384-322), "Politics"

* * *

"Vote for the man who promises least; he'll be the least disappointing." -Bernard Baruch, Presidential Advisor and Financier (1870-1965)

* * *

"To retain respect for sausages and laws, one must not watch them in the making." -Otto Von Bismarck, Chancellor of Germany (1815-1898)

* * *

"Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least." -Robert Byrne, American Writer (1933- )

* * *

"Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature." -Samuel Butler, American Writer (1835-1902)

* * *

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." -Sir Winston Churchill, British Statesman, Prime Minister, and Author (1874-1965)

Trivia: Who Killed The Dead Sea?

I'm currently reading Kenneth C. Davis' book, "Don't Know Much About Geography." You'll find the following excerpts on pages 170 and 171 found of his book:

First of all it isn't a sea at all but a lake. The Dead Sea, forming part of the border between Israel and Jordan, is a landlocked salt lake with no outlet. With the Jordan River as its source, the Dead Sea is located 1,289 feet below the level of the nearby Mediterranean Sea, making it the lowest exposed point on the Earth's surface. In biblical times it was known as the Salt Sea because its salt content makes it saltiest "sea" on Earth. The high salt content is a result of rapid evaporation of the water due to the area's extremely high temperatures.

This extremely high saline level makes it difficult to sustain any life forms, which is why it came to be called the Dead Sea. In the Middle Ages, visitors believed that the air above the Dead Sea was poisonous, because no birds flew over its waters. But there are no birds there because there is nothing for them to eat; there are no plants, and any fish carried in from the Jordan River are killed immediately by the water's high salt content.

Halloween Rules

With Halloween upon us, it is worthwhile to remember a few simple rules to help keep this season healthy, happy and safe. Please use these helpful hints.

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not go into the basement when the power has gone out.

4. When you have the benefit of numbers, do not walk off alone.

5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals of hell.

6. If you are searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, run!

7. Do not take anything from the dead.

8. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.

9. Do not go looking for witches in Maryland countryside.

10. Run from people carrying chainsaws or hedge trimmers.

11. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with your in-laws.

12. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames.

13. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to use the phone.

Source: FunnySermons.com

Anecdote: How Gullible Are We?

This anecdote came from TheHumorArchives.com. I'd like to share this with you because it has an important lesson to teach:

A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."

And for plenty of good reasons, since:

1. it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
2. it is a major component in acid rain
3. it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
4. accidental inhalation can kill you
5. it contributes to erosion
6. it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
7. it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.

* Forty-three (43) said yes,
* Six (6) were undecided,
* Only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.

The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?"

He feels the conclusion is obvious.

(Photo courtesy of www.sxc.hu)

YouTube Video: Tuesdays With Morrie-Part 10

Quotes on Happiness

"The aim of life is to live and to live means to be aware - joyously,
drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." -Henry Miller

* * *

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." -Albert Camus

* * *

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." -Abraham Lincoln

* * *

"The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but they seize us." -Ashley Montagu

* * *

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." -Albert Schweitzer

* * *

"The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." -Allan K. Chalmers

* * *

"Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy." -Cynthia Nelms

* * *

"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same." -Anne Frank

* * *

"A certain simplicity of living is usually necessary to happiness." -Henry Chapin

* * *

"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." -Mark Twain

* * *

"Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy." -Gretta Brooker Palmer

* * *

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved." -George Sand


(Photo courtesy of www.stockxpert.com)

YouTube Video: Tuesdays With Morrie-Part 9

Quotes on Dreams

"We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers." -Woodrow T. Wilson

* * *

"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely." -Erma Bombeck

* * *

"We've got to have a dream if we are going to make a dream come true." -Denis Waitley

* * *

"Dreams will get you nowhere, a good kick in the pants will take you a long way."
-Baltasar Gracian

* * *

"Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears." -Les Brown

* * *

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." -Walt Disney

* * *

"What is now proved was once imagined." -William Blake

* * *

"The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold." -Kahlil Gibran

YouTube Video: Tuesdays With Morrie-Part 8

Blog Action Day: Quotes on the Environment

Today, October 15, is Blog Action Day, when all participating bloggers around the Web write on just a single issue--the environment. My humble contribution to this effort, this being a Quotes blog, are the following memorable quotations on the environment:

"In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations."
- From The Great Law of The Iroquois Confederacy

* * *

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - M. Gandhi

* * *

"I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power! I hope we don't have to wait till oil and coal run out before we tackle that." - Thomas Edison

* * *

"There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves." - Anon.

* * *

"Now I see the secret of the making of the best persons; it is to grow in the open air and eat and sleep with the Earth."
- Walt Whitman

* * *

"Increasingly, the world around us looks as if we hated it."
-Alan Watts

* * *

"Not to have known, as most men have not, either the mountains or the desert, is not to have known oneself."
- Joseph Wood Krutch

* * *

"He who is harmony with Nature hits the mark without effort and apprehends the truth without thinking."
- Confucius

YouTube Video: Tuesdays With Morrie-Part 7

Quotes from "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership"

I'm a history buff and as such, I can't help but view history as a collection of individual stories of great men and women with exceptional passion and determination. It impressed me that when you scratch the surface of great men and women, you'll find leadership traits at their very core.

This is why I got hooked on books about leadership. Leadership became my Grail quest as I started to supervise people and climb the corporate ladder. I bought this John C. Maxwell bestseller as my wife and I were shopping for our family New Year's eve get-together on December 28, 2000. It is one of my favorites on this subject. Hope you like it, too.

1. The Law of the Lid - "Leadership ability determines a person's level of effectiveness."

2. The Law of Influence - "The true measure of leadership is influence-nothing more, nothing less."

3. The Law of Process - "Leadership develops daily, not in a day."

4. The Law of Navigation - "Anyone can steer the ship, but it takes a leader to chart the course."

5. The Law of E.F. Hutton - "When the real leader speaks, people listen."

6. The Law of Solid Ground - "Trust is the foundation of leadership."

7. The Law of Respect - "People naturally follow leaders stronger than themselves."

8. The Law of Intuition - "Leaders evaluate everything with a leadership bias."

9. The Law of Magnetism - "Who you are is who you attract."

10. The Law of Connection - "Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand."

11. The Law of the Inner Circle - "A leader's potential is determined by those closest to him."

12. The Law of Empowerment - "Only secure leaders give power to others."

13. The Law of Reproduction - "It takes a leader to raise up a leader."

14. The Law of Buy-in - "People buy into the leader, then the vision."

15. The Law of Victory - "Leaders find a way for the team to win."

16. The Law of the Big Mo - "Momentum is a leader's best friend."

17. The Law of Priorities - "Leaders understand that activity is not necessarily accomplishment."

18. The Law of Sacrifice - "A leader must give up to go up."

19. The Law of Timing - "When to lead is as important as what to do and where to go."

20. The Law of Explosive Growth - "To add growth, lead followers-to multiply, lead leaders."

21. The Law of Legacy - "A leader's lasting value is measured by succession."

--John C. Maxwell

YouTube Video: Tuesdays With Morrie-Part 6

Trivia: Getting Rich Quickly

Legal methods:

-Marry someone who is already rich.

-Have a rich person die and will you their money.

-Strike oil.

-Discover gold.

-Win the lottery.

Illegal methods:

-Rob a bank.

-Blackmail someone who is rich.

-Kidnap someone who is rich and get a big ransom.

-Become a drug dealer.

For the sake of completeness:

"If you really want to make a lot of money, start your own religion."
- L. Ron Hubbard

Hubbard made that statement when he was just a science fiction writer in either the 1930s or 1940s. He later founded the Church of Scientology. He also wrote Dianetics.

Source: Contributed by James B. Reed to InvestFAQ.com

YouTube Video: Tuesdays With Morrie-Part 5

Did You Know That....?

Interesting facts about sex. Have a great weekend!

clipped from peety-passion.com According to the Kinsey Institute, the biggest erect penis on record measures 13 inches. The smallest tops off at 1 3/4 inches. The most common fantasy is oral sex. 8% of us have regular anal sex. 60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand. Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold. In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men similarly endowed. Men say the average erect penis is 10″. Women say it’s 4″. A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex. 56% of men have had sex at work. Among the Mangaians of Polynesia, 18-year-old couples make love an average of three times a night, every night, until their thirties, when the weekly average drops to a mere 14. 1 in 3 of us have had an extramarital affair. 62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs. 29% of us are virgins when we marry. 58% like dirty talk during sex.

Top 8 Inspirational Quotes

This is part of my clippings collection at Clipmarks.com.

clipped from quotations.about.com 1) Mark Twain Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. 2) Luigi Pirandello In bed my real love has always been the sleep that rescued me by allowing me to dream. 3) Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. 4) Zig Ziglar People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. 5) T. S. Elliot Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. 6) Buddha All that we are is the result of what we have thought. 7) Ralph Waldo Emerson Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. 8) Peter F. Drucker We know nothing about motivation. All we can do is write books about it.

YouTube Video: Tuesdays With Morrie-Part 4

Banker Joke: Wanna Bet?

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"
The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10am as a witness?"

"Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10am today I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand.

Source: www.becquet.com

(Photo courtesy of Flickr.com)

Historical Trivia: Ten Most Fascinating Tombs in the World

If you're a history buff like me, you'll like this. The photos add a lot of flavor to this collection. You can post this to your blog, too, by simply clicking the button in the lower right hand potion of the Clipmarks frame below.

clipped from www.neatorama.com Newgrange The burial mound of Newgrange in County Meath, Ireland it is the also the world’s oldest surviving building (it’s older than Stonehenge and the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt) Tana Toraja Sulawesi, Indonesia the strange part the funeral ceremony is often held weeks, months, or even years after the death Westminster Abbey London, United Kingdom Geoffrey Chaucer, Charles Dickens, Thomas Hardy, Rudyard Kipling, and Alfred Tennyson Sir Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, and Ernest Rutherford were all interred there Giza Necropolis Egypt the base sides have a mean margin of error of only 2 1/3 inch (58 mm)! Valley of the Kings a burial ground of ancient Egyptian pharaohs Catacombs of Paris a network of underground tunnels and rooms that used to be Roman-era limestone quarries Terracota Army Xi’an, China the burial ground of Qin Shi Huangdi, the First Emperor and the unifier of China Capuchin Catacombs of Palermo Palermo, Italy Sedlec Ossuary Sedlec, Czech Republic Taj Mahal Agra, India October 1st, 2007